The News, It Is Not Good

Hi guys, getupgrrl here, posting on behalf of my beloved partner in crime, Danae.

It would be impossible to accurately describe the hellish ordeal Danae has been through this past week, but I can tell you that it's included (in no particular order) multiple ultrasounds and blood draws, a diagnosis of an ectopic pregnancy, a diagnosis of a failing intrauterine pregnancy, a diagnosis of "we have no idea what's going on in there," one intrauterine sac that may be an intrauterine cyst, another intrauterine sac that may be a psuedosac, local nurses who refuse to return phone calls or fax test results, local doctors who refuse to run tests ordered by that high-falutin' New York RE, numerous trips to the hospital ER, an emotional breakdown in a radiologist's waiting room, and one incomprehensibly stupid nurse practitioner who keeps insisting that "everything looks fine!"

As you might imagine, Danae is emotionally and physically exhausted. Unfortunately, her ordeal isn't over yet. Due to the confusing ultrasounds performed locally, she'll have to travel to New York next week in order to be scanned by someone with a clue. In the meantime, she's been put on "Threat Level: Orange" regarding the possibility of ectopic pregnancy and tubal rupture.

You can't know how much your support and good wishes have meant to her in recent days. She's been so touched by your outpouring of affection and kindness. Obviously, I wish - more than anything - that this wasn't happening to her. But since it is, I'm just glad that she's going through it with all of you behind her.

I know that Danae will post an update just as soon as she's able. In the meantime, please keep sending her your love.

Thank you all, from all of us.

Comments

[Karen C.]

Sending you ALL my love and my most calming wishes. Thinking of you, Danae.

[Manuela]

Oh, Grrl... I had feared as much in the absence of an update from Danae.

I will continue to keep her in my thoughts and hope for the absolute best.

Much love to Danae...

[sandi]

i am thinking and praying...
HUGS HUGS and much Love to you all!

[Anna]

Oh, Danae. Crying (a little) and hoping (a lot) for you here. I wish this weren't so hard on you.

(thanks so much for the update, getupgrrl)

[Robin]

Oh God. I would fix it all for you if I could. I wish I could.

[Kathleen]

You have my prayers and best wishes. I am still hoping for a miracle. You deserve it. I'm thinking of my beautiful miracle babies and hoping you have one of your own.

[Cat, Galloping]

Oh gosh, next WEEK? Sending fortifying thoughts and hoping against hope that maybe the stupid nurse is the correct one.

[Emily]

Thank you for the update Grrl. Please tell Danae how much I love her and how much I'm praying for her.

[Noelle]

Thinking of you, Danae. Hang in there.

[alex]

It ain't over till the fat lady sings and I promise not to sing. I am very concerned and thinking about you alot. I soooo hope good things happen. I am so sorry this has been so stressful. Sending my prayers your way.

[Melissa]

Danae, sending you all the positive vibes and good wishes I can. The waiting and the not knowing suck so incredibly much. I'm really sorry you are going through this.

Thanks for updating us, getupgrrl.

[Beth]

Thanks so much, Grrl, your update means a great deal to us too!

Danae, I'm so sorry you have to go through this, the waiting and the not knowing and the endless poking and prodding. It all sucks. I'm so glad to hear that our feeble words are providing you with some comfort.

Sending love, crossing bits and praying for a miracle!

[kate]

So fucking unfair. Sending you tons of love from Boston.

[susan]

Oh man. That sucks. Please tell her my thoughts are with her. I'll be in the city on Wednesday night and would love to take her out - either for drinks if it's a no go or for a footie rub if it's all good and those local yokels just don't get it. She has my cell.

Susan

[Cat19]

Much much much much love and prayers, for better more sensitive accomodating medical help, for comfort wherever you can find it, for a miracle....

Thinking of you, crossing everything, crying some, wishing this wasn't so awful for you, Danae.

You deserve so much better.

[Kimberly]

Thanks so much for the update. Hoping and praying for Danae, with the very best wishes imaginable for her and her family.

[Heather]

Thanks for the update. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, Danae. My prayers and love go out to you and your family.

[MM]

God, no one deserves to go thru that kind of Hell, least of all you. Hope your trip to NYC brings you some peace (has anyone ever said that??).

[Trish]

My thoughts and prayers and hopes are with her all of the way to New York and beyond...

[TexasMama]

Oh Danae,

I'm so, so sorry you have to go through this. It just isn't fair at all. Ugh. I just sorry. I wish there was more I could say.

[JuliaKB]

I am so sorry about the ordeal. I have been refreshing compulsively, and with growing dread each time there was no news.
Danae, I am so sorry you are going through this. My only hope is that it doesn't get any worse for you. Please take care of yourself.

[Debe]

Thanks for updating
sending much love
I'm so sorry

[Katherine]

Danae - I'm sorry you're going through this hell - and with such uncompasionate caregivers to boot!

[Jen (yup, another one)]

Oh, Danae... I'm hanging on to hope so hard for you, and I am also so, so sad that this has been such a nightmare. Sending strength to help you get through these next agonizing days.

(And thanks, grrl, for the update.)

[Jen]

Danae,

I can't imagine what a terrifying, confusing, painful time this must be for you and your family. Hoping that this week brings you good news, and if that's not possible, hoping it brings you resolution.

Thinking of you and sending lots of love and prayers.

[Libby]

Thanks for the update Grrl.

I am so sorry this is happening Danae. I am crushed and I am just a lurker. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel.

I am thinking about you lots and wishing you the best.

[reenie]

I can't imagine what hell this has been for you, Danae. My prayers are with you and your family. We'll be here waiting to hear from you. Thanks for updating, grrl.

[B]

Danae - I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts.

Grrl - thank you for the update.

[erin]

Dear Danae, I don't know what to say other than I'm thinking about you and I care. I'm honored to be a part of the chorus of support, well-wishes and prayers. Grace and Peace to you dear one.

[Anon]

I'm so, so, sorry. Much love and strength is sent to you from overseas.

[Toni]

Continuing to send love and positive thoughts...

[beachgal]

Wow...another lurker here, sending lots of prayers and wishes. I'm sorry you have to go through all this, and that someone just can't tell you for sure what the hell is going on. That's just crazy. I wish I knew the right things to say and I wish that there was something I could do for you. Please know a LOT of people are thinking of you. I hope you get some good news in NY.

[wheelomatic]

Danae, we don't know each other but your story has touched my life. I can only hope my most fervent wishes for calm, peace, health and love touch you in some way as well.

There are so many people on your side, you are never never never alone.

Thank you, grrl, for getting the word out to us and for conveying our words to Danae.

[Amanda]

Fuck! I'm so sorry, Danae. So very sorry from the bottom of my heart. Thinking of you so much.

Thank you for the update, Grrl.

[Sarah]

Thanks Grrl for the update, and thanks Danae for allowing her to do so. I too have been refreshing and refreshing, only to be more and more worried.

I am so sorry for what you are going through and hope there are real answers for you very, very soon.

Sending lots of good wishes.

[j]

Danae, I know there are no words that can offer any real comfort in a time like this. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through such a hellish experience. What a fucking nightmare for you and your husband. I wish you some peace and resolution, and definitely better days to come. And they will. I know you're thinking booze, but I'm thinking ice cream. Straight out of the container, with no pretensions that you're not finishing the entire thing in one sitting. I personally prefer a flavor with chunks of stuff in it so that I can excavate for treasure. Like Moose Tracks. There's a good one.

I have a friend that I have looked up to all my life. My friend always seemed so perfect to me. My friend was always popular, always had cute boyfriends, always wore nice clothes and great earrings! My friend was and still is a great role model to me. My friend has a wonderful talent, went to college, got a good job, met a wonderful man, got married and bought a house. My friend always loved and supported me when I did everything ass backwards despite her advice. My friend and I have shared happy times and devastating times in life. My friend is beautiful and smart and kind and caring. My friend would give you the shirt off her back. My friend is going through a horrible, painful and unfair time in her life...but she still listens to me when I need to talk. My friend is selfless. My friend is my daughters Godmother, my friends husband is my daughters Godfather. They would make perfect parents. They have everything to offer a child, love and happiness. They have a relationship many people would be jealous of, something their child would be proud of. They have a beautiful home that they bought with children in mind. They have morals and values and would pass them on to their children. My friend has tried so hard to have a baby only to find her hopes and dreams shattered time after time. Yet, my friend has the strength of an ox, she gets sad, her heart breaks, she cries...but she still moves forward.

You all know my friend as Danae. Danae happens to be my very best friend in the world, and also my sister. I feel that anything I say or do right now is inadequate considering the magnitude of everything she is going through. I call half a million times a day to see if she heard anything new and how she is doing, and most of the time I think I am more of a pain in the ass then a help! I try to bargain with God...I make stupid deals with him that I will quit smoking, or not have anymore kids myself or any other number of dumb things if only Danae would get pregnant. For any of you out there that may think bargaining with God sounds like a good idea, forewarning, it NEVER works! I feel helpless and wish I could take away her pain and replace it with a beautiful baby to love and care for forever.

But no matter how helpless I feel, no matter how much of a pain in the ass I am because I call a million times a day, no matter how many times I don't say the right thing...I still love my sister with all my heart. I still go on praying night and day for a miracle. I still stand by my opinion that my sister and her husband would make wonderful parents and God is simply doing everyone an injustice by allowing the crack heads and abusers of the world to reproduce, only to neglect, beat or murder their children. It just isn't fair.

I love you sister. And I am always here if you need me. *So ling*

[Michelle]

Sending you lots of love and special thoughts.

[k]

This is ridiculously fucking unfair.
This is ridiculously fucking unfair.
This is ridiculously fucking unfair.
(repeat ad nauseam)

[Molly]

Oh God, oh God. Thinking so hard of you, Danae. I'm so glad you've got caring friends and family to help you out. You are very loved.

[Claudia]

Thanks for the update, Grrl. Danae, I'm so very, very sorry this is happening to you. I hope you won't have to wait too much longer for some answers. We're all pulling for you and keeping you in our thoughts.

[Shevon]

Danae, mad at the Universe (or Gd, or whatever) for you.
Fuck you, Universe!! Stop fucking with Danae!
I'm so sorry. None of us wanted to hear news like this.

[Ruta]

Another lurker chiming in. Danae, I don't know you personally, but your story has riveted me for the past few weeks. I am hoping and praying that things work out as well as possible, and that sometime soon you have the child that you are destined to have.

[Monica]

I've been checking and checking, so thank you, Grrl, for letting us know. Needless to say, I wish so much that it were with different news. I'm so very sorry Danae.

[Claudia]

Thanks for the update, Grrl. Danae, I'm so very, very sorry this is happening to you. I hope you won't have to wait too much longer for some answers. We're all pulling for you and keeping you in our thoughts.

[Claudia]

Thanks for the update, Grrl. Danae, I'm so very, very sorry this is happening to you. I hope you won't have to wait too much longer for some answers. We're all pulling for you and keeping you in our thoughts.

[cheryl b.]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope the Dr.'s give you some kind of answer soon. Sending all my love.....

[2jaysgirl]

I am thinking of you and praying for God to give you strength. I am so so sorry that the world is such an unfair place. I hold on to the hope that it will all be made right one day. Blessings to you and your family.

[Suz]

I'm so sorry and, like so many others, feared that your absence meant not so good things. I'm so so sorry.

[Anna H.]

We're all still here with you Danae, sending lots and lots of love your way.

Thanks for the update, Grrl. Please keep us posted.

xxoo

[kiwi]

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, hoping for the best.

[groovyjen]

Well fuck. This is shitty and unfair and I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. This lurker is thinking of you.

Jen

[korin]

Thanks for the update. Much love.

[Stacey]

I am truly hoping for a miracle. I hope that we find out that all of the doctors you are dealing with are complete quacks and that everything is fine.

Just don’t lose hope. Have hope in something, either this pregnancy or the next.

And I’m sorry you are having to go through all of this.

[Lala]

blah, what a bunch of bollocks. Poor Danae. Sorry the shit is raining down still.

[wavybrains]

continuing to hope against hope for you. If wishes were miracles, you'd have yours in spades. How unfair that it isn't that easy. Continuing to hope for you.

[Nina]

Gosh i'm so sorry for all of this. I hope you can see someone in NY who knows what he/she's doing and can give you a definite answer. Thinking of you.

[Lisa]

This is so fucking unfair. Damn you, Universe! ::shakes fist::

So v v sorry, Danae.

Thanks, grrl for the update. You're a stupendous friend.

[Lioness]

I am so sorry, so terribly sorry. Hugs.

[Jenn]

Thinking of you Danae. Keeping everything crossed that you get some answers and some peace.

[Louise]

My heart is heavy for you Danae. I'm so sorry.

[Cory]

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE...

...and more support than the best underwire has to offer!

Many, many hopeful, peaceful, loving, positve thoughts for you Danae.

(and thanks to Grrl for the update)

[runnerwoman]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, it doesn't seem fair. You'll remain in my thoughts.

[Sue]

Next week?! This is so cruel and unfair. I wish you peace and hope the NYC doctor has definite answers. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[T]

Grrl, thank you so much for the update.

Danae - thinking of you lovely one.

grumble, grumble, incompetence, grumble, unacceptable in this field, grumble...

[Lisa Noonan]

Oh, you poor darling!

Much love, prayer and all the positive thoughts I can muster going your way...

Thank you Grrl and Sis for the updates and news.

lots of love

Lisa

[Gina]

Oh Danae I am so sorry about all this. So very sorry this did not work out for you. Sorry that you have to go all the way back to NY for news.

Much love and many hugs.

[Kay]

My heart is breaking for you. The unfairness of it all is overwhelming. Wishing you the best possible outcome - and peace.

Much love,

[chris]

I'm sorry you're going through this Danae.

Thinking of you.

[Amy E]

You don't deserve this. I am so very sorry. I hope you find the answers you need as soon as possible.

Thinking of you...

[Rachel]

Two things -

First, and by far th most important. Danaem I am so damn sorry all of this nonsence is happening to you. I am still hoping and praying that everything will turn out okay. I know it seems difficult to imagine, but I can be very Polyanna like about other people's lives and I'm pulling for you. If things are not okay, you wil have my tears and my hope that the pain passes away somewhat quickly. I'm rooting for you.

Secondly, this is a very, very stupid question, but I'm hoping someone can answer it. I understand how eptopic pregnancies happen when natural conception occurs (cute little fertilized egg doesn't get all of the way out of the tubes, etc.) I don't understand how they can happen in an IVF pregnancy. Aren't the fertilized eggs placed back in the uterus? If so, how do they backtrack their way back up into the fallopian tubes? I just don't get it.

[Stephanie]

Just another lurker poping in to wish you well. I'm so sorry for all that you've been through. I've been thinking about you a lot the past few days, hoping for the best. I'll still be hoping, and we'll all be here for you when you return, whatever the outcome.

[Ally]

I'm so sorry.

[deborah]

Hang in there, Danae. We love you loads.

[Brooke]

Thanks for the update, grrl. I've been worriedly wondering what was going on.

Danae, I'm so sorry. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

[Lily]

Love is sent. Re: incomprehensibly stupid nurse- why oh why must they torture us. Here's hoping the next person will know what the hell is going on. I hope to God you have the world's best, most accurate and clear ultrasound. It's the least you deserve after all this.

[Boulder]

Danae,

I'm so very sorry about the ordeal that you & your husband have had to endure. Unfortunately, I know only too well the type of experience you are having and I've had my own monumental radiology breakdown, where letters where written, complaints made to hospital social workers and all kinds of shit. No woman should have to endure this while also wanting to know what is going on in her own uterus, for fuck's sake.

My thoughts have been with you throughout this cycle, and they'll continue to be. Wishing there was something productive I could do. Need any letters written?

xoxo

[Julia]

No. Just no.

Thinking of you and wishing, praying, hoping for a miracle.

[Moxie]

Danae, I'm so so sorry.

[SheilaC]

OMG, thanks for the update. Danae, I'm so sorry. I will continue sending prayers and best wishes. However it turns out, I hope you will (finally) receive the best of care from now on.

[Lyss]

Oh Danae, how wrong and unfair it is you are going through this. It shouldn't be happening. You've been through so much. You poor thing. (((hugs))) to you, and much love, and vodka. And chocolate, and percocet, and anything that would help you feel better.

[ICharlotte]

Oh gracious. I am so so deeply sad for you, and ever so much more sorry.

[Vix]

Thinking of you, I wish you weren't going through this, sending all the positive energy I can.

[Becki]

Why, oh, why, must such devastation happen to someone who deserves only good news and happiness? Danae, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, but I'm sending my love and prayers and hopes that when you make it through this terrible time, you will have the blessings and happiness you deserve.

[Sol]

Dear Danae. I am so so so so sorry to hear this. This is just so terribly unfair. Much love your way and hope that you get some answers soon in NYC, and you can put all this behind you. Hang in there-

Grrrl, Thanks for the update.

[juliejulie]

Dear Danae -

thinking of you now and always.

[Kate]

Thanks for the update. I wish it were better, or atleast more definitive news. I hope, for Danae, an end to this hell, either way. She's in my thoughts.

[Orenda]

Thank you so much for the update. I'm just a lurker, but every time I refreshed this page and saw no news my heart sunk a little lower. I wish Danae all the best and am hoping really hard for her. No one should have to go through a mindfuck like this.

[Andrea]

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. It's just not fair. I've been worried about you and refreshing constantly. We're all thinking about you and sending love your way.

[marla]

This blows. I hate the reproduction lottery.It seems sometimes no matter how many tickets you buy, you still can't win. So, so sorry...

[Melissa4444]

First of all, Grrrl, I can't thank you enough for the update. As you can see, there are so many of us who care so deeply about Danae, and we were so terribly worried. We still are, of course, but the it helps to know where she's at and that she obviously has people helping her through this. I knew someone in the Posse would know!

Danae, Can you imagine how sorry we all are for what is happening to you right now???? All of us, complete strangers, thinking about you constantly as we go about our lives. Shows what an amazing person you are, and how deserving you are of happiness!

I'm so incredibly sorry and frustrated. I wish things were fair in life. A week ago, I honestly thought that the worst thing that could happen is that you could lose the baby.

But this, this is just insane! That you should have to go through all of this fear and uncertainty, with so little support from the medical world. I can't help but cry when I think about how you must be feeling. I wish every one of us had been in that radiologists waiting room with you. I know we couldn't have helped, but Oh, Danae, you would have felt how much we care about you.

Thinking of you, and your family, who's hearts must be breaking watching the woman they love go through this.

[Vix]

With time to think - I hope that the trip to New York helps to give you some peace. It is astounding that people who work in the field of health care can be so bloody fucking awkward about things without realising the effect it has on the patient/recipient of their care.

[Jamie]

Continuing my prayers & sending hugs. Thanks Grrl for the update!

[expat]

Thank you for the update, grrl

Danae, I am so sad and sorry that you're going through this. The universe is a sick and sorry place to do this to you.

I'm holding on to a sliver of hope for you.

[ellery]

Delurking to say that I am so sorry this insanity is happening to you, Danae. I'm praying hard.

[Polichick]

God, Danae, I'm so sorry to see all that you've been through. My thoughts are with you, girl.

[Z]

dear god, i'm so sorry. this news saddens me and i wish i could do something more other than write some words. you and yours will be in thoughts...

[ericalil]

Grrl, thank you for the sad update.

Danae, I wish with all my heart that this wasn't happening to you. I send you much love and support, and share your sorrow.

And I desperately want to kick all of the local doctors, NP's and nurses asses.

erica

[Rose]

Thank you so much for posting, Grrl. Thinking of you, Danae.

[Laura]

I can't remember the last time I was cried so much for a complete stranger. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I will continue to hope for a miracle, but more than anything, I hope you find out something for sure soon.