What Happened To My Rockin' Thursday?

Thursday: Oh shit! This pregnancy is doomed!

Remember yesterday when I told you my husband had paged my RE about our ultrasound? And remember I told you that he never called us back? Well, he just called. And I wish he hadn't.

Before I get into that story, let me just tell you that I went for another beta today and it was 2208, up from 1172 exactly two days ago. Doubling time of 52.5 hours. Not as fast as the earlier ones, but still well within range.

So, my RE called and I asked him why I had been sent for an ultrasound at 5 weeks. He said it was because my medical records state that I had a laparoscopy over 3 years ago in which scar tissue was removed from one of my tubes (I didn't remember this detail of the operation, but I looked it up and this is taken directly from the operative report: "tube had multiple adhesions attached to the cul-de-sac, and the tube itself was normal") so even though I have no history of ectopic pregnancies, he wanted to check early in order to rule it out. So that's that explanation.

Then he said that he definitely expected to have seen something on the ultrasound yesterday and that this pregnancy does not appear to be proceeding normally.  He went on to say that because nothing could be found on the ultrasound, he believes that this may be an ectopic pregnancy.

This morning I scheduled another ultrasound and beta hCG for next Wednesday (as instructed by my OB) but my RE thinks that if I wait until Wednesday, my tube could rupture. He recommended that, for my own safety, I should go back no later than Monday for another ultrasound (and beta) and that we should ABSOLUTELY see something by then, but if we do not, I would then have to decide whether to have a D&C or a shot of methotrexate. (I had no idea that D&Cs were given for ectopic pregnancies -- wow, learning something new every day.) I will be 5w6d on Monday, according to his calculations. I've been instructed to be seen immediately should I experience pain or bleeding.

This should be an excellent weekend.

Also, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!

Comments

[Emily]

Oh crap, Danae. I just went you an email before I read this. I'm so sorry, so sorry you're scared like this. I have nothing to offer because I've never been in your shoes, but sweetie, I just wanted to let you know that I'm here, anytime and holding your hand and you can squeeze mine until the bones start to crunch. Please keep us posted.

Love,
Em

[Kelli]

okay, so I have come out of lurksville, (I am totally hooked to your posts I might add.) to tell you this: your RE is a effing dingbat! if your tubes were such a concern before, why did he not mention it!!!! and, why the fuck did he not call you back yesterday? total BS! I wish Dr's would be more honest about their intentions. I am still fairly new to infertility, but am concerned for your health an mental well being. Try to take it easy, oh and here's one to you that I am sure you've never heard: Just Relax! (sorry) well anyways, hopes and prayers from a complete stranger.

[Nors]

I am so sorry.

[Manuela]

No, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!

[Tina]

Based on what everyone else said in the post below, I think your RE is full of poop. Your numbers are doubling, you are still very early in the pregnancy and unless you get cramping, pain or some other symptom of ectopic, I wouldn't listen to the ol RE too much until after your Monday exam.

[Trish]

Aw, fuck. Sorry- I'm rooting for you. I have no words to say...

[Amanda]

Fuck. I'm so sorry, Danae. I so hope this is not an ectopic. Thinking of you.

[chelsey]

I think they feel the need to always tell you the worst case scenario. Pulling for you.

[Amy E.]

What the fucking fuck indeed. I had to delurk on this one because I went through this with a friend recently. She had bleeding at 5 weeks and went in for an ultrasound. No sac visible. Doc told her (and my mad googling agreed) that at 5 weeks about 90% of sacs are visable. She also had good doubling numbers and a past ectopic so she was very worried and spent the next week in total panic. A little over a week later she saw a sac and a heartbeat. I really, really, really hope that you are also in that lucky 10 percent. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I was so hoping for smooth sailing for you. I am not the praying type but I am saying one for you anyway and crossing everything too.

[Anna H.]

Holy Fucking Christ. No, no, no!

Danae, I'm so hoping it will all turn out ok. And so sorry that you're being fucked with in this way.

We are all here with you.

xxoo

[Susan / holdingpattern]

I'm sorry to hear this, and I hope your RE is wrong about this. I'm a little alarmed because they do NOT do D&C's for ectopic pregnancies. Depending on the location of an ectopic, the options would be either Methotrexate or laparoscopy/laparatomy surgery.

I've had two ruptured ectopics (1 in each tube), and wrote up a little Lessons Learned about Ectopics" that I hope might help you.

Again, I hope that your RE is just wrong. You betas sound great, and I think it is not uncommon to not be able to see anything on the ultrasound until the beta is over 1500. So hang in there! And good luck. My heart goes out to you.

[Ollie]

OH FUCKING FUCKING FUCK. I really hope for something miraculous in your next u/s. I am keeping a candlelight vigil in your honor until that u/s gets here.

[afrindiemum]

I'm thinking big, bulbuous, billowy sac firmly anchored in your uterus. I will think this all weekend for you. Best of luck on Monday - may you have a visible, beautiful sac pop up on the screen first thing Monday morning.

[Jenny]

Shit, shit, shit. Hang in there.

[Beth]

What a bunch of crap. I never had an RE so I can only hope that the posters above are correct and that your RE just needs to pull his head out of his ass.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It just sucks.

Here's hoping and praying that your sac was just shy so it was hiding behind your bladder, and that you'll be able to see a lovely sac soon, right where it belongs!

[Jo]

No no no no no no no no. NO.

See, and I have some serious questions about this RE, because NO, they do not do D&Cs for suspected ectopics, because YOU CANNOT STICK A CURETTE INTO SOMEBODY'S FALLOPIAN TUBE. No no no. The options for ectopic are methotrexate (preferred) and salpingectomy (for the bad ones).

Also: normal doubling is fairly rare for ectopics.

Also: hcg has to be at least 1000, and usually over 2000, before anything at all is visible on ultrasound.

I am googling like mad, and cannot find anything to support your RE's assertions.

While it's always prudent to be aware of potential problems, and to have instructions as to what to do if there are any signs of these potential problems, and while I am always leery of ectopic pregnancies -- I think this guy is being a total ghoul.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

[ms pickled eggs]

Fuck. Hoping beyond hope that the little bugger was just camera shy and that you'll get good news on Monday. Thinking of you.

[Amy]

Hi,

I'm also delurking to add my 2 cents. First, according to the Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago (advancedfertility.com), gestastional sacs are usually visible with an hcg level of 2000 or so, considerably less than your hcg the other day. In addition, they state that ectopics usually occur in women with progesterone levels less than 25, much less than your reading of 43. So, I'm not trying to provide false optimism but it seems genuinely possible that all is fine in your pregnancy. I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that this is the case.

[sara]

:(

It's still early, and you're not feeling any pain. I say hold out, see what happens. It could just be taking a little while longer to navigate its way to implantation-ville?

*HUG*

[Suz]

I'm so afraid, but holding tightly onto hope for you. Please let this be okay.

[Rayne of Terror]

please please please let this turn out alright for you, Danae. i'm keeping you in my thoughts. i'm so sorry you are having such a rough time.

[Jessica]

No cramps/pain? Normal doubling? Naw. My money is on "not ectopic", and that you'll see a sack by next week. Hang in there, girl.

[j]

Well, I think that you can't be too cautious when it comes to ectopics, and I think it is a good idea to have an ultrasound sooner rather than later... I looked today at a site about early u/s http://radiology.creighton.edu/ultraofearlypreg.html#anchor119545, which has lots of good information. According to this site, most sacs are seen by 5 weeks, but they use an hcg of 2000 as a cut-off. If there is no sac seen at that level, then they do follow up u/s's to check for ectopic. They would not take any surgical or other extreme measures, though, at that level, because 35% (I think) of pregnancies are not seen on u/s at 2000 hcg. So it sounds to me like you were below that level yesterday, but that it does warrant some follow up. I would still be very hopeful. I know one sign of an ectopic is abnormally low progesterone levels, and yours was good. Ectopics also generally have betas that do not double appropriately, and yours is great. (My betas doubled in the 50ish range on my successful pregnancies). I really have a good feeling about this, fwiw. Can you get an u/s tomorrow? Given that your beta is over 2000, and will be well over 2000 tomorrow, I think you should probably see something by then, and then you could have a more peaceful weekend.

I do know how awful this waiting is. It is terrible. With my first successful pregnancy, my betas were low and slow, and the baby measured behind at every u/s, more and more each time. At my 8w+ u/s, my RE told me he thought it didn't look so great, and he gave the pregnancy a 50/50 shot of continuing, and was concerned, even if it did, that there was some kind of chromosomal abnormality. It was absolutely terrible, I couldn't sleep a wink or concentrate on anything at all. I heard lots of encouraging stories, and all turned out fine. I really think my RE was overreacting to the situation, and was way too dire in his predictions. I think yours is too.

[VHMPrincess]

damn woman. I don't believe what they are putting you through...I will be thinking-sac growing heartbeating thoughts for you all weekend (and checking up to make sure you're ok).

[zarqa]

Goddamit. I hope it isn't what they think it is. Thinking good thoughts for you.

[alex]

Oh damn...this was the last thing I wanted to read here today..

I am so so sorry. But maybe...just maybe? They are wrong so many times...

Thnking of you and hoping.

[T]

Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm definitely hoping for Monday's u/s but this fucking sucks, FUCKING SUCKS. My friend, I'm so, so very sorry.

[k]

Would it be appropriate to just stick your fingers in your ears and say, "La La La La La La!!!" to your RE?

No...?

[Lisa]

I don't know shit about shit, as I have said in earlier postings, but your RE sounds like an insensitive jackass. Even though I don't even know you, I too am googling like mad.

I found this on www.americanpregnancy.org:

Week 5-Gestational Age (Fetal age 3 weeks)
Development
The gestational sac is often the first thing that most transvaginal ultrasounds can pick up at about 5 weeks. This is seen before a recognizable embryo can be seen. Within this week, at about week 5 ½ to the beginning of the 6th week, a yolk sac can be seen inside the gestational sac. The yolk sac will be the earliest source of nutrients for the developing fetus.

Hormones
hCG levels can have quite a bit of variance at this point. Anything from 18 - 7,340 mIU/ml are considered normal at 5 weeks. Once the levels have reached at least 2000, some type of development is expected to be seen in the uterus using high resolution vaginal ultrasound.

So your HCG was not at the point where anything would have been visible. And it says that as it could be 6 1/2 weeks before you see anything. Maybe you should mention your hcg level to your doctor? But honestly, he sounds like he's just "phoning it in," no pun intended. Maybe he just picked up your chart and glanced at it and came to a snap conclusion.

Please get a second opinion before you do anything serious though! And just be sure to bring yourself to the hospital if you feel any sharp pains!

[Anne]

Oh, fuck. It's so unfair that you have to go through this uncertainty. On the bright side, doctors are so often wrong. May it be so in your case.

[Kate W.]

Ok, putting in my 2 cents...For the amount of money these RE's make you would think they would get some bedside manner training. I think he is "jumping the gun" I did not have fertility problems, but did have lots of spotting with both girls. None with my miscarriage. With my daughter Sarah, I had a 6wk 3day ultrasound and they could not find a sac... 3 days later with the "big" hospital U/S-sac etc. I have good vibes!! I will be thinking about you all weekend! Keep us posted!

Your doctor sounds like an asshole. That HCG increase is good - ectopics have low increases in HCG levels [besides, a lot of websites say HCG levels are expected to double every "two to three days"]. Obsessive blood tester that I am, I'd recommend HCG betas every 24 hours until Monday, calculator clutched by your side - at least you'll know one way or another what is going on in there. Your pregnancy gives hope to the rest of us out here in multiple-IVF wasteland.

[Jen/VintageUterus]

Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Danae. I SOOO hope this isn't the case. You really, really, really don't deserve this shit.

This waiting part sucks. I know. Susan (holding pattern) has got some great tips on the ectopic scenario. Good advice.

Be careful right now. I was dumb, ignored the itty bitty signs and my tube ruptured. My hcg was 17,000. They had already told me I miscarried, so I had finished "betaing". Oh, the joy. Anyway, I thought I had severe constipation (IDIOT!!) Turns out it was internal bleeding that was causing the bloat-like pain. Moral of this long winded, depressing non-solicited assvice??? GO TO THE DOCTOR if you even have minor, minor symptoms. Promise me.

[Jen/VintageUterus]

Oh, and KateW... No disrespect to you, and I know you want to be positive about the situation which is really sweet, but if the RE is saying it may be ectopic, Danae (or any other woman) needs to be really, really careful and vigilant in looking for symptoms. It can be a life-threatening situation. Being positive and saying your doctor has no bedside manner won't create a viable pregnancy and could delay someone seeking treatment.

[Kathleen]

I think the RE is irresponsible to tell you this. I agree with whoever posted above that their money is on this pg working out. It doesn't sound like ectopic to me at all....I think he is just covering his bases so you can't say he didn't tell you. But the spotting and hcg sounds to me like a healthy bean.

i also think maybe you had an inexperienced u/s person. We had one once who knew so little that she did the whole u/s wrong, so another tech had to come in and do it all over again. Meantime I was writhing in pain on my back with two huge babies inside me... so although we tend to think medical people know what they are doing, some don't.

I'm pulling for Ms. Hardscrabble Jr in there! I think she's gonna make it!

[shari]

Nothing much new to add to the above posts, but delurking anyway to say I agree w/a lot of the other comments.... for my first u/s (can't remember when it was - around 5 1/2 wks??) I remember they made a big deal about what my HCG level was in order to see something - NOT how many weeks/days pg I was. And yes, your hcg levels are doubling so normally...you could say 'textbook'! Doesn't sound like ectopic to me...hang in there - I hope you post some wonderful news on Monday.

ps) are you SURE you can't insist on another u/s and hcg tomorrow and spare yourself an agonizing weekend??

[Kay]

Fuck. So fucking unfair for you to have to endure this.

Thinking nothing but positive thoughts for you.

[Louise]

I will have you close to my heart this weekend. I'm wishing you all the best. I am sorry for this wretched wait.

[LOOKY LOU]

OK, wait, please explain how on earth you could be considered five weeks-plus pregnant..........I'm still not getting it. I'm thinking four weeks at the most. I think the whole problem is that the timing is wrong.....are your RE and clinic actually communicating?????? Hang in there sweet pea.

[Jen (yup, another one)]

Oh, God, Danae, how utterly unfair. Even if everything works out fine (and I hope and pray it does) you do not need this agony. I'll be sending positive inside-the-uterus and super-sac thoughts your way.

[Kate]

Danae,
A HUGE hug for you and an even bigger kick in the ass for your RE. He should have called you ASAP with his concern about ectopic. You make damn sure that they see something, somewhere on Monday before doing anything, and get a second, third even fourth opinion if you have time.
I know how badly this sucks, and will sit cross legged for days if it will bring you luck.

Hugs,
Kate

[Jess in Nova Scotia]

Oh, honey. We will all 'think good thinks' and hold our breaths for you...

[Sarah]

FUCK. I'm still holding out hope for you...will be checking back obsessively on Monday.

Hang in there. I'm sending good thoughts and will continue to do so!

[Sherry]

D, I too am holding out all hope that this pregnancy will work out. Stay well, and keep us posted.

[Diane]

I feel like the biggest idiot asking this, but: How can there be an ectopic pregnancy AFTER IVF? Isn't the whole point to do the transfer low enough down to avoid the Fallopian tubes, and how rare is it for an embryo to float "up"? It has to have happened to someone, once, for this miserable sod to have suggested it's going on now. But really, how plausible is this scenario, can any IVF veterans tell me? I can't recall any mention of it. (My cycles never got as far as fertilization, let alone transfer.)

I guess what I mean is, this can't possibly be happening, can it?

Please....

[Jill]

I'm sorry he sounds negative, but I'm sure he really wants things to go well, and isn't trying to hurt you. He is being proactive, and is doing his best to keep you safe. He looked way back in your chart and saw a potential problem and acted on it. I'd rather have that than someone with his head in the clouds.

Your numbers are still wonderful, and you aren't in any pain. Keep breathing and take care of yourself.

[Danae]

Yes, it most definitely can happen. (scroll up for proof!)

There is actually a higher risk of ectopics in IVF pregnancies than in natural pregnancies.

[Diane]

OK, sorry, should have Googled first.
Still going to hope, all weekend, that he's just WRONG. I wish we could send some good drugs to make the time go by.
Major prayers going out.

[PJ]

DAMN IT!!!

I'm so sorry Danae. I will be thinking about you and hoping that things work out for the best.

[wix]

danae, i hope your RE is wrong. lots of mamas, wannabe mamas, and mamas to be of every stripe are hoping for the best for you, and that has to count for SOMETHING in the grand scheme of things.

[Rae]

Danae I am so sorry

I wish there was mroe to say

You are in for a very long weekend - I'm so sorry. Hoping your doc is just being super cautious and there is a nice sac with fetal pole and maybe even a heart ebat inside the uterus next week. Ahh for those words "viable interauterine pregnancy"

[KristinM]

OK, I never post, but I've been following your story and I AM PISSED at your doctor. WTF???!!! I had an u/s at exactly 5w and saw only 1 sac and then 10 days later...TWO SACS, two heartbeats.

and I have had an ectopic (before my twin pregnancy) and my betas did not ever double normally, they went up and down and then back up again.

I think your doctor is CRAZY! I hope he is so wrong and you see a beautiful sac on Monday. Then you can tell him KristinM from the Internet said to shove it. :D

[Amy E.]

I think it is great that your doc is being proactive about an ectopic. As a few people have mentioned, the only thing worse than a failing pregnancy at this point would be, you know...massive internal bleeding! Not that that makes any of this easier to deal with and I'm sorry that you will be forced to spend this weekend agonizing over this. You so do not deserve this!

I have an incredibly stupid question but forgive me because I have never done IVF. My friend, who I mentioned above, had a similar situation and it ended up well but that is the only experience I have with anything like that and hers was after IUI. Anyway, I am trying to figure out how you arrive at the 5 week figure. You are 19 days post transfer right now right? Wouldn't that put you at more like 4 weeks 4 days at your ultrasound? Amature question I'm sure. Thanks to anyone who can answer it for me.

[Amy E.]

Stupid me. Just figured out you did a day 3 transfer. So I guess you add those days to get to the five week number. Sorry. I need to remember to read first before asking questions!

[Kristin]

Your RE is possibly full of shit...at least about seeing stuff htis early. Many, many people do not see anything on an u/s at this stage and go on to have perfectly fine pregnancies. ALso, with ectopics, hcg levels are usually more out of whack. I completely agree that you should be careful...BUT DO NOT LET HIM PUSH YOU INTO MAKING A DECISION YOU AREN'T READY TO MAKE. Hoping and praying with all I'm worth that this turns out well.

[Nat]

FUCK!!

I'm still holding on to hope for a viable pregnancy for you, but also want you to not be blase about the possibility of ectopic. Going back to the "Please, Please, Please" chant that has been working..guess I should've kept it up, sorry.

Thinking of you during this horrendous time...

[karyn]

Nah. Your RE is totally wrong. Just my gut feeling. Everything will be fine.

[Christine]

I think your RE has his head up his ass. I get doing further tests right away, but I don't get the doom and gloom scenario based on nothing. And in my limited knowledge of betas (since they never ran mine) I was also thought that the beta has to be at least 2000 before seeing anything on ultrasound. I'm keeping the faith for you.

[Mollie]

Oh. Crap.

I'm pretty wrapped up in this, Danae. I liked reading the comments because I hear a lot of cause for hope there, but no matter what, it seems, this will be a weekend you'll struggle through. Sorry for that.

Here's hoping that things sort out well next week.

xoxo

[LauraN]

Danae,
this is so unbelievable. I am sorry this is happening to you.

I hope that Monday comes quickly and that you will see a beautiful embryo in the uterus. I agree with others, I thought it was too early to see anything.

Thinking of you,

Laura

[Mia]

Danae, I am just so sorry this is happening. I will be thinking of you this weekend, and praying in my special, Unitarian, way that the outcome on Monday is good.
Hang in there.

[LisaV]

Danae, I am sorry. I am sorry you have to go through ths scary time, not matter what the outcome. Wishing you hope, peace and luck.

[Vix]

It's hard to know what to say - I will be thinking of you - and don't give up hope.

Just wanted to comment on the D&C bit. I have had an ectopic pregnancy with a ruptered tube, I am also a nurse. Methotrexate which is a type of cancer fighting drug was not an option for me because of the danger of bleeding to death from a ruptered tube. Anyway, I had emergency surgery, removal of my left fallopian tube (which is a salpingectomy as mentioned in an above post) and a d&c. The D&C is not to remove the ectopic pregnancy...it is simply done to remove any chance of pregnancy tissue that may be in the uterus which could cause a number of problems, including your hcg levels not returning to pre-pregnancy numbers. This is why most doctors make you return after a miscarriage, ectopic or regular delivery to have your hcg retested.

Personally, I think your doctor is an ass clown. I haven't given up hope that this pregnancy will be just fine. As I lay in bed at night saying my prayers, my fiance will look over and ask me why I am being so quiet. I tell him I am praying for Danae. He says "She is going to be ok this time, she has already had her share of bad luck, this time will be different." I smile, hoping he is right and keep on praying. In any given 60 minute period, unless I am sleeping, at least half of that time is spent thinking about Danae. Barganing with God, cursing at him sometimes because fair is supposed to be fair, and nothing about Danae's experience has been fair. I shouldn't just say Danae, because when I pray, I include her husband in every thought as well.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know why the doctor suggested a d&c, although he is an ass monkey, there is logic to that suggestion. My hope is that nothing will be needed until you deliver a beautiful, healthy baby in 9 months.

[DMouse]

I am so sorry you are going through this. The comments give me hope, and I hope they give you hope too.

Take care.

[Lola]

OK. That's it. I am going to personally bitchslap God because he is a fucker.

I hope against hope that everything is OK.

[Melany]

You know what. Doctors just pisses me off. Why not be SURE before he tells you something like this. I'm hoping it's not (obviously)

[Andrea]

I don't have any advice or personal story to offer, but I can offer my love and support, hope and prayers for you that this will all work out.

[Ana]

Danae, I'm sorry, but your RE is an ass! First off all, it's perfectly possible not to see a sac at 5 weeks because it may just be TOO DAMN EARLY. Second, betas usually don't double when you have an ectopic (belive me, I know about betas, having had them every week for months). And third, you do NOT do D&C's for ectopics. A curette (or even if they do it with a vaccum) does not go into one's tube.

Sweetie, I'm seriously still convinced you have a good chance of seeing that sac on Monday. I know it will be a hard weekend but I hope it's worth it. Hugs

[Lala]

Piss, shit, fuck, and four other come to mind.

[Kinneret]

Danae,
I am hoping that your RE is a twit and that your next u/s shows a beautiful sac where it should be.
*fingers and toes crossed*

[Cat, Galloping]

I absolutely refuse to believe that this is an ectopic. It just doesn't sound right and we all know that doctors make mistakes. I would think that five weeks pregnant after IVF is not EXACTLY the same as five weeks pregnant naturally, there must be room for error here, and clearly a few days makes a big difference this early on. Hang in there. The weekend waits are the absolute worst. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

[Lioness]

All right, this man doesn't sound like he knows sod-all abt what he's doing! There are concerns re your propensity for ectopic pgs - no one tells you? Minor detail you don't need to know? Then no one calls you? Then he's worried nothing was visible when so many women at 5 weeks see nothing as well? AND a D&C for an ECTOPIC? Is he bloody mad? Your betas are doubling, right? You are not bleeding excessively and most importantly, not cramping? I hope he's just being a stupid wanker, I truly do.

Thinking of you you sweetie, hoping you can get an U/S tech that finds your very gorgeous tubes, perfectly healthy, perfectly empty, and that your lovely beta stays that way, absolutely lovely and reliable. I cannot even imagine how you must be feeling but I'd be wanting to scream and kick things very hard. Do you have any dishes you don't particularly like? Breaking them can be very satisfying and anger-releasing. We're here, we're right here.

Ladies, c'mon, we all want this for Danae. But the fact remains that she is dealing with an experienced, degreed, experienced doctor and we are all armchair quarterbacks. Danae must take what he says seriously -- he may not have the best bedisde manner, but he is a doctor, after all. Yes, they do make mistakes. And yes, my take is he is only covering his ass because of malpractice -- they all do. But this doesn't mean Danae shouldn't take it seriously.

[ericalil]

I just wanted to add my name to the list of people hoping, wishing, praying that this is not ectopic, that you see a lovely sac on monday. I hope you get through the weekend okay and get good news Monday.

erica

[Cory]

((Danae))

No stories here of mine, or a friend-of-a-friend or assvice or anything like that. Just lots of cyber hugs, and a million prayers going up. I will never stop thinking of you this entire weekend, although I know that in no way will compare to your agony over the next two days.
I am wishing only good, positive things for you.
Much love.

[Debe]

Oh God, I am so sorry this is happening to you.
I'll be praying and thinkin of you this weekend and hoping the RE is wrong

[Ria]

Shit.

Thinking good thoughts for you and echoing what many of the others have said. WTF? Why wasn't this discussed before if you have a higher risk for ectopics?

Praying for good news come Monday...

[chris]

This is crazier than Tom Cruise this morning on the Today show.

I'm sorry. This sucks.

Much love. You deserve better.

[S]

Danae, I'm so sorry. Is there any possibility at all you can talk with your OB about the RE's statements? It might be a good way to get a second opinion on the fly, as it were, and based on all the informed opinions of women who know rather a lot about this (I particularly appreciated Jo's comment) I think s/he might have something reassuring to say. Or, you might be able to get another u/s today already.

Thinking of you.

-S

[Molly]

Oh, Christ. Monday can't come soon enough.

I'm still NOT giving up hope !!!! She is around and I still have a Great Feeling about this pregnancy
Luv Ya
Cath

[Jennifer]

wow D. I am going to agree with a lot of the posters here and say that your RE is fucking wrong. I would even tend to say that I bet your OB has more experience with ectopics than your RE, and if they're not worried, neither should you.

I'm sure everything is going to be fine Monday. It was just way too early to see anything.

*hugs* Love ya, Jenn.

[Erin]

Well, shit. That just sucks and there's nothing cool about it.

Crossing my fingers for the best.

[Tine]

Criminy...can't things ever be easy??!! You deserve a long, long reprieve from such agony.

Agony notwithstanding, I really think you have good reason to stay hopeful. So far there's no good, hard evidence that your pregnancy is ectopic. There IS some pretty good evidence that both your RE and the u/s tech are...well...a bit mixed up.

Of course you know that ectopic pregnancy is dangerous, and of course you're going to be watchful and careful. You've been doing this TTC thing long enough that I'm sure you don't need dire warnings adding to your worries.

My money's on hope.

[wessel]

Well, double shit, Danae. I'm not ready to decapitate your RE like some of the other ladies, however. (Down girls!) He is just being cautious, which I would prefer any day to a head-in-the-sand moron. I disagree completely with the comment that OBs have more experience with ectopics than RE's--NOT! RE's are much more experienced with very early pregnancy, considering that many OB's don't even schedule a first OB appt. until 8 weeks LMP or so. Also, I had an idiot OB tell me that my embryo was measuring just fine and not to worry, after my RE had informed me that it was too small for dates and would miscarry. Turns out that most OB offices do not own the highly sensitive u/s machines that RE's have, and they are not even able to measure as accurately when the embryo is so tiny. My OB was dead wrong, and should have known better than to rely on his ultrasound equipment for diagnosis in such a very early pregnancy. So, listen to your RE.

Having said that, however, I do want to add to the popular voice here that your data really doesn't fit the typical ectopic picture of low progesterone levels and slow rising betas. I also never had an u/s until my HCG had risen above 2000--that was just the policy of the clinic. I have also heard that twin pregnancies develop more slowly, and that it is quite common for twins to be small for dates, which translates into their being "slow" to make their appearance on the ultrasound screen.

You would think that in our wonderful world of advanced medical technology, there would be a simple and definitive way to determine if a pregnancy were ectopic. I sincerely hope that you have a blog entry in a few days that says "two sacs found." Hang in there, Danae. Meanwhile, I will be cursing the universe once again, asking WHY do infertiles have to always go through this EXTRA SHIT?

[Jenn]

I am so, so sorry. Those words "not progessing normally" still ring in my ears. I'll be thinking about you.

[MM]

Glad your doctor is being cautious even if his bedside manner leaves something to be desired. I'll be hoping and crossing things for you all wknd.

[Susan]

Well, crap. Crossing my everything that Monday's u/s and beta are something good.

[Jenn]

OMG, just wanted to second everyone who said that your RE's advice is alarming and sounds wrong! (What IS it with RE's? I have never come across one that was worth a darn!)

Hoping it was just too early, and I am so sorry for all the stress you are going through.

[GiBee]

I think your RE might be jumping the gun. Or maybe exploding the canon!

My personal feeling is (and everyone has them, but it's up to you to decide what's best for you)... Right now, you should relax, think calming and soothing thoughts, and rest as much as possible so that you can help this child develop properly and without stress, while REMAINING ALERT (not yelling, just stressing) to your symptoms. (that, of course, is critical... for your well being and the baby's, too.

Your numbers sound far too high for this to be an ectopic. Be patient, and wait to see what shows up on Monday. I'm praying everything will be just fine.

And when it is... you can happily FIRE (now I'm yelling) your RE and get a new one. In fact, scare him a bit by threatening a law suit after all the emotional distress he's put you through.

Sending calming and soothing thoughts your way, and keeping you in my prayers.

[Emma B]

Oh, shit. Sorry as can be to hear this -- I'm sitting on my thumbs for you and hoping it all turns out OK.

[JuliaKB]

No fair!!!!!
I hope he is wrong.

Hm, could Friday be a good day (tm) instead?

[Danae]

Thanks everyone.

I just want to say that I DO NOT think my RE is incompetent, and I'm GLAD that he's taking this possible ectopic seriously because an ectopic pregnancy is a LIFE THREATENING condition. Yes, it's hard to hear, and yes, I'm extremely scared, and yes everything could turn out just fine, but it would be irresponsible of him not to raise this concern.

I'm going to get an ultrasound TODAY and will update as soon as possible.

[Emma Jane]

Oh my God, Danae, I'm so sorry to read that you're going through this scare. Thank something that your RE is on the case, and thank something else that you trust him, and that you're going for a scan today.

[anon]

Oh Danae,

I will be refreshing constantly today to see what is going on.

I agree that with the possible etopic, its better to be very careful and if he's wrong the worst your RE caused was worry, but if he ignored it could be well disasterous.

[dawn]

Danae i'm pulling for this to work
My Re said that as lnog as you have rising betas he doesnt worry till the 7 or 8 week
late implanters and such
So please try not to worry

[Jill]

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this fear and worry about an ectopic pregnancy. It was so nice to see your earlier happy posts; you have been through so much and you deserve some pregnancy happiness. It just STINKS that you have to be on this rollercoaster now. I'm hoping and praying that you will get good, reassuring news soon.

[Jen]

Well, shit fucking fuck.

I so hope you see something good today, and start getting some better news!

Rooting for you, thinking of you, and wishing you could just have an easier time with all this.

[Beth]

Danae, my prayers are with you.

No matter what happens we don't want to lose you! You are so much more important then your ability to reproduce!

It's good that you believe your RE is competent and has your best interests at heart. :) Let's all hope he's just a worry-wart!